– by Robert Lawrence Friedman, Ph.D.
As a drum circle facilitator and stress management trainer for many decades, I’ve taught many techniques and strategies to help audience members learn to relax. One of the first steps in learning to manage stress involves retraining your mind.
Retraining your mind means consciously changing the way you habitually think, interpret, and respond to experiences. Most of us develop mental habits over time – patterns of thought shaped by our upbringing, culture, repeated habits, and stress. Some of these habits are beneficial, such as being optimistic or developing resilience, while others are limiting, including negative self-talk or catastrophizing.
What does retraining my mind really mean?
Retraining the mind involves:
• Increasing Your Awareness – Noticing when you have thoughts that don’t serve you – such as “I’m not skilled enough to lead this group.”
• Interrupting – Pausing the old pattern rather than letting it run on autopilot.
• Replacing – Introducing healthier, more constructive thoughts. Shifting “I’m not skilled enough to lead this group” to “My presence, rhythm, and intention are enough to create a powerful experience.”
• Repetition – Practicing the new patterns until they become your new default.
In short, it’s like rewiring your brain’s operating system. Through being more mindful and affirming positive thoughts, with consistent practice your mind learns new habits of thinking.
What is the value of retraining the mind as a drum circle facilitator?
As a drum circle facilitator, every drum circle offers the opportunity to improve your skills and connection to each group. Inherent in all of this is your ability to be self-aware. The more you can learn to retrain your mind, the more self-aware you will become. Self-awareness will allow you to more fully attune to and engage with your audience, without the static that your own inner thoughts might create. Retraining the mind, then, is one of the gateways to greater connection to your audience. As you increase your thought awareness, you can learn to remove the weeds of negative thinking and fear-based thinking, cultivating a deeper understanding of how your thoughts may impact the facilitation process.
One example of this is imagining you walking into a drum circle, thinking, “What if no one likes my facilitation techniques?” or “What if the group doesn’t engage?” This pattern of negative thinking pulls your focus inward, making you self-conscious. Instead of attuning and being fully present to the group, you may get caught up in your own doubt, dissipating your ability to connect with the group.
As a result of your negative thinking patterns, you may miss subtle clues from participants (such as a smile or a group energy shift), stick rigidly to your plan without considering what the group needs, or project a sense of tension or uncertainty that participants will pick up, thus affecting you and your group.
The negative thought loop becomes a barrier, blocking presence, spontaneity, and connection. A facilitator who is present projects calm, confidence, adjusts fluidity, and amplifies the group’s natural energy.
What methods are used retrain the mind?
One of the goals in retraining your mind is to examine and understand your patterns of thinking. There are many methods for retraining the mind and understanding your patterns of thinking. One of my favorites is to give yourself three to five minutes to write down all the thoughts that come to mind, keeping your pen on paper in the process. Once the time is up, notice if there are any patterns of thinking in what you’ve written — for example, are your thoughts generally positive or negative, empowering or disempowering?
Sometimes our thoughts may seem to spiral out of control because we are not examining them, but more so reacting to them. When this occurs, stress is often the result. The act of writing down your thoughts may help to abate some of the emotions connected to them.
A cognitive approach that may be helpful when your thoughts are negative or stressful is called “Stop, Breathe, Reflect, Choose.” When you notice yourself feeling stressed, think or speak the word “Stop,” then take a deep breath in. You are saying or thinking “Stop” to put a break on the negative thoughts. Taking a deep breath triggers the body’s relaxation response. As stress is an emotional response, triggering relaxation may help you move more easily into your more centered self. The next step is to “Reflect.” You are reflecting on the full range of thoughts you can have. Out of that range, find the idea that is the most positive, and finally, “Choose” to focus your attention on this more positive choice. Take a few minutes to reflect on the positive thought.
Generally speaking, you help to generate stress through the thoughts and imagery you choose to focus your attention on. By taking responsibility for your thought process and learning to change stressful thought patterns, you are helping yourself to become a more present and effective drum circle facilitator.
